That prompted a conversation between myself and, well, myself.
"What does that mean? He's no less a writer than you."
"I wouldn't be wistful if I thought I were a better writer than him. So that's not what is underneath."
"Well, what is it then?"
Images of essays written over the years, a few written during some of the most difficult times in my life, drifted into my memory like paper floating on a breeze showing bits of writing here and there and drifting away again.
"I used to write with ease. I used to write with observation and a sense of magic. I found the mystery and the whimsy and the satisfaction. Now, I seem to have to have a point to write. There must be some purpose, some conclusion, some, well, almost lesson in what I have to say. When did that happen?"
"I suppose it doesn't really matter when but what now? I still wish to write with a sense of purpose but I don't think I really want to have to have a point every time. Sometimes I wanna write with a sense of magic and mystery and wonder - just because."
Tummy growling I went downstairs and settled in with a bowl of hot buckwheat cereal and sat with my thoughts which were no longer answering back and forth but simply being.
I've no real conclusion here [yay!!! :o) ] but I think I'll start sharing some of the essays from before here and there and give myself permission to write like that again. :)
Magic, mystery, wonder, fun, whimsy....
Kerry, there's something really wonderful, delightful and light about this. As always, you express things so clearly: that feeling of wistfulness, the desire to be creative and let the inspiration flow, and then the creativity itself; and, within the whole atmosphere of the moment, the turning thoughts, the pause of time and then that subtle realisation: that marvellous "just because."
ReplyDeleteAnd that's so very important. Sometimes the whole point of creativity is creativity itself. If it has a point, that point can be gentle, fun, profound or whatever it needs to be; and if it doesn't have a particular purpose, that doesn't make it any less magical. Sometimes, as with many of the best things in life, it just is.
As always, Kerry, thanks for bringing something very important to our attention (in which case, perhaps there was a point to your writing, without your knowing it) in, as always, such a beautiful way :)
Thanks again,
Ian :)
Thanks Kerry! I've been experiencing the same thing with my comics and trying to figure it out.
ReplyDeleteAnd I absolutely LOVE your early writings and can't wait to read them (again in some cases)!
~Patrick